Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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