I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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