so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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