i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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