he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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