this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
