I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
