Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
