so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
