I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
