i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize