I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Boobs are out for the taking
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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