You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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