i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
