I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
50% drunk capacity currently
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
