if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Randomize
