put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
im about as happy as oj after his trial
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
