You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
