put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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