Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
