its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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