Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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