My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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