8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
