if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
