Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
