still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
