Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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