i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
