we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
