I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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