Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
i now understand why vodka
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
