don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
