Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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