i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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