Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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