i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
