i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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