so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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