He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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