My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
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