So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize