Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
