just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm bleeding and have questions
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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