At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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