I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
