Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize