After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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