You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
