How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
