Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He did a backflip because drugs
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