The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
