i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Can I color on your dick again?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
