people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
