I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
